I can just imagine God sitting up in Heaven looking down at me and chuckling to Himself—watching me pretend that I was in control of it and feeling that I had earned this job.  Well, not only was I turned down for the position, I was immediately humbled when I began graduate school and realized that almost everyone around me had secured this same job.  This team apparently hired many of the graduate students at my school.  Except for me.  I’m convinced that in all of this, it was God just showing me that He is the one that is ultimately in control.  Not me.  It wasn’t about me earning it or my own abilities.  God was showing me that He is the one that provides and He is the one that gives.

Because after a few weeks of job hunting, I received an email from this same research team saying that there had been an opening and that they wanted to interview me again.  One day later, I was offered a job.  The same exact job that I had been turned down for once before.

God truly does provide in generous ways.  He gives and loves even though I don’t deserve it.  And nothing that I do allows me to earn His love, because He already loves me unconditionally.

I know, O Lord, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps.

Jeremiah 10:23

Sometimes I really need to be reminded of this.  That it is God who is in control and guiding my life and I needn’t take things into my own hands.  I just simply need to wait for His direction.

Writtensoul [dot] net. Delivered straight to your inbox! Wow, I feel like a magazine.

I have to say, I hate making self-introductions on these scary first days.  Now, I’m fine introducing myself at a party or when I’m meeting people for the first time or even when I’m introducing myself to my students. But, get me in front of a group of my peers (which I have never met before) and a new professor, and I’m gone.  As in, the Jessica in my brain goes on lunch break.

Now, for my first three classes, these self-introductions went satisfactorily.  I became a little nervous preparing to rattle off the list of answers we were asked to respond to and slightly tense during actual delivery, but overall no more or less affected by it than anyone else.

Then, I got to my last first class.  It was a course preparing elementary school teachers to teach math.  I actually specialized in biology and math at the secondary (grades 7-12) level, so I was a bit of an oddball in the class. There were a handful of other secondary students, but it was primarily dominated by elementary school teachers.  Because the professor had said that he wanted to keep the introductions short, we were only supposed to mention our name, hometown, and what we had been doing prior to deciding to return to graduate school.  The introductions sped across the room and it was soon to be my turn.  Unfortunately, since the Jessica in my brain left on break, I flat-out lied.  I’m not sure what I was thinking at the time, but I managed to fib an entire degree!

I confidently announced that my undergraduate majors were Secondary Education and Math.  However, in fact, I never majored in math; I majored in Biology.  Oh, silly me! What a way to start off the class though; I hope no one asks me about my math major!

Anyone else have any good first day stories?

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In all seriousness though, I think I’m starting to realize that grad school is not going to be easy.  I forgot how much reading and writing there is in education courses! I’ll probably be living at cafes this year.

But, I think that now I have been away from home for so long, I see a different side of my mom.  And I see how, she, in her own way, expresses her love for me.

Like buying Hot Pockets and Yoplait Whips! OK, I know I might sound crazy. But, I really say this in all seriousness when I say that these are my mother’s expression of love.  Why? Because I grew up with my mom being extremely strict about what we buy and insanely frugal.  Frugal to the point where I believed for most of my life that we were seriously dirt-poor and constantly broke.  (I’m not saying we’re rich.  But, we’re definitely not so broke that we can’t afford to only buy items that are on sale—not just on sale, but at least half price off, because that is literally how my mom shops)  So as a kid, I would always beg to buy the “normal” things my friends would eat, like Hot Pockets or Lunchables or Chex Mix.  But, my mom always ignored me, saying that they were too expensive, not worth it, or bad for you (the latter may be slightly true).  But, this time when I returned home from a year-long absence in Taiwan, she bought me Hot Pockets, on her own accord.  I was floored because I knew that she wasn’t the one that would be eating them.

And, then there’s Yoplait Whips.  My mom complains that because there’s more air, it’s less yogurt so it’s not worth it to buy.  But again, when I came home, I found a Key Lime Pie Yoplait Whips waiting in the refrigerator for me.

What’s the other way my mom expresses love for me? Yelling at me. Seriously. She says she misses yelling at me when I’m not home. So, when I come home, it’s like she has to make up for all the time she hasn’t been yelling at me.

Sure, my mom doesn’t do the “normal” maternal expressions of love like writing letters or sending care packages or daily telephone calls, but in her own unique way she expresses how much she cares for me.  I really respect my mom a lot for raising me and my brother so well.  Our father passed away when I was in elementary school, leaving my mom all by herself to be responsible for us.  Growing up, I don’t think I understood how hard it must have been on her—to not only go from losing her love and partner in life but to also suddenly adjust to completely taking care of business, finances, and her two children.  I only saw things through my own eyes, complaining and comparing my life to the lives of my friends.  But she really raised us both so well, at the expense of her personal rest and stress, and I am so thankful for her sacrifice.

I love you, mom. I know it’s not Mother’s Day, but who says it needs to be Mother’s Day to be grateful for your parents?

Not that I don’t love babies. Because, trust me, I do. And I can’t wait to have my own. But I think I finally realized how much work having a child really is. I think it’s definitely left me feeling like I don’t need to rush into dating and marriage and having kids. Not quite just yet. I think I’ll just wait for God’s timing on this one. I’m guessing He probably has a much better idea for my life plan.

My God, I confess that I turn a blind eye when I buy clothes or food, not thinking about the wages of the people making the clothes in sweatshops.  Give me discernment to know where to shop and where to buy things to better support them rather than supporting companies which [do the opposite]…help me to steward my money wisely, give generously, and use it to the support the poor in their situation.

One of the verses that really stuck out to me was James 5:4 – “Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you.  The cries of the harvesters have reached the Lord Almighty”.  There were a lot of things that God taught me that summer, but one thing that I really took home was how to better steward my money to further God’s kingdom.

So, how does this have anything to do with being a Steazer? And what is a Steazer anyway?

Well, I think one answer to this and a step in the right direction is Fair Trade.  Fair trade helps farmers and farm workers receive fair prices for their products, ensuring livable wages and protecting children against forced child labor.  One of the hardest realities that we faced during the missions trip was that for not highly-educated women in Manila, prostitution seemed like the only way that they could earn a living.  In some cases, we saw women leave prostitution to join Samaritana, only to find themselves caught back in prostitution because they needed money.  Thanks be to God that Samaritana is now able to offer a type of employment now with the women making handmade cards.

I realized how hard it is to find employment and a decent wage, which is why now, while I am “comfortably” in America now, I can hopefully at least use my weekly visits to the grocery store  as a way to support and promote living wages for workers across the globe.  I know it’s not a solution but I think that it is a step in the right direction and it’s a way to better steward money that I would already be using to buy food.

Which brings me to Steaz.  I discovered it with my friend at Whole Foods yesterday.  We were looking to try a new beverage and stumbled across this organic free-trade amazingness.  I don’t just support this product because it’s fair trade and organic, it’s also delicious and healthy.  Steaz offers a variety of healthy iced teas, in addition to some other products all of which look great too I just haven’t had a chance to try yet. 

The power in Steaz lies in the ingredients.  None of that high fructose corn syrup disgustingness. One of my pet peeves about iced tea is that it’s always over-sweetened to the’ point where I don’t even taste the tea anymore and I am convinced that I’m simply drinking just sugar water.  Steaz has the perfect balance.  A little added cane sugar just to enhance the flavor, but it doesn’t overdo it.  Each tea also has some added flavor, ranging from the antioxidant-full blueberry to lime to pomegranate.  Plus, it’s about 40 calories/serving.  Talk about healthy.

1. Taiwanese breakfast – There’s a breakfast shop pretty much on every block, usually two.  They’re super fast, you can even order from sitting on your scooter and in a few minutes, you’ll have a dan bing (egg pancake) or a variety of sandwiches or, if you venture for the traditional type of breakfast, salty soybean milk, you tiao (long crispy oily dough things), or bao zi (steamed buns).  While here in Taiwan, I’d wake up early just to get breakfast before going to work.  And that’s saying a lot because I like my sleep.
2. Tea Shops – I’ve already written a post about this, but I love the way you can customize your tea here.  Tea is cheap, good quality, and delicious.  Plus, it’s super convenient because there are probably about the same number of tea shops as breakfast shops, if not more.
3. Driving Scooters – As dangerous and insane as they might seem, scooters can be extremely fun to ride in good weather in the middle of nowhere.  Driving in the city is heart-stopping and stressful, but driving in the country or in the mountains is gorgeous…wind running through your hair, weaving in and out around potholes, ahh…driving in a car seems so boring in comparison.
4. Taiwanese Versions of International Cuisines – I will miss the Taiwanese interpretations of different world foods.  For example, any Italian restaurant here has this amazing baked casseroles globbered with cheese on top. Also, it is inconceivable to eat steak without first eating a special puff pastry creamy corn soup.  Every single steak house I have been to offers you this. Also, whenever you go to a bar, instead of serving peanuts with your drink, you are served shrimp chips. When I asked my Taiwanese friend about this, he thought it was completely normal.
5. 7-11 – I know in America, 7-11’s are pretty sketchy, but they are everywhere here and you can do anything at them. And I mean anything. Like pay your electricity bill, buy tickets for a concert, add minutes to your phone, and grab food and drinks.
6. Efficiency – Everything is so quick here. For example, if I need an oil change, I just drive on up to my scooter shop, tell them I need an oil change, and they’ll immediately start working on my scooter. 10 minutes later, I’m done and on my way somewhere else. Also, in the metro stations (MRT), people line up in order to enter the cars.
7. Transportation – Public transportation in the cities here is ridiculously convenient.  Taipei has an extensive bus system and the metro system.  Further, there are buses that hit every other city on the island and it’s super easy to hop from one city to the next using these long-distance buses or the train.  If that doesn’t satisfy your appetite, you can even take the high-speed rail (HSR) to get to your destination quicker.
8. Night Markets – Lots of cheap food and shopping all within a few blocks. What more can I say? Cute clothes at ridiculously cheap prices and delicious food like shaved ice or beef noodle soup.  They open before twilight and stay open until late into the night (past 10 PM and some even to midnight).  When it comes to nightlife, Taiwan reigns.
9. Mandarin Chinese – I think the Mandarin language is beautiful and extremely fascinating. I know that I’ll miss speaking it when I get back. I’ve gotten so used to saying a few phrases that now it actually takes some thought to think of how to say the same thought in English.
10. People – I love the people here. They are so generous and sweet and helpful.  If you ever ask for directions, they will always stop to help you and sometimes even show you the way to go. People will go out of their way to help you in so many ways.  But, not only that, of course the biggest thing that I will miss from Taiwan are the friends that I have made here. It’s hard saying goodbye to them and I hope that one day I’ll be able to see them again.

After a group introduction, the students, in groups, run through the stations to practice interacting with us, saying things like “I want to exchange $200 NT dollars to US dollars” at the bank or “Do your eyes hurt?” at the health center.  We also play fun games with them to get them to practice using English more.  At the end of their crazy adventure, they write postcards in English.

Running through this over and over again for the entire year with new students each time, I have to admit, gets a little boring.  Sometimes you have to spice things up.  For three of the male ETAs that teach with me on Tuesday, this means making the craziest possible introductions ever.  The rest of us on the Tuesday EV team have just backed off and let them have their show.  This has resulted in visits from Farruk with a Middle-Eastern accent, Mr. Robot who wears his helmet inside the classroom, dancing to “Twist and Shout”, singing “Happy Birthday” to Lady Gaga, forcing 60 fifth-graders to do jumping jacks, and pretending to be a puppet.

This Tuesday, one of my students at EV asked me, “What’s down there?” referring to the stairs leading down to what seems like a subway (from looking at the wallpaper).  In fact, there is nothing but a dead end down there.  But, instead I told him, “There are ghosts and monsters down there.  If you’re bad, then I will send you there!”  Later that day, as we walked to the next station, he told me that he was scared of ghosts.  I decided to mess around with him and suddenly screamed at him, he yelped hysterically, then said “ni xia dao le wo” which means that I scared him.  We laughed it off.

Then, when it was time to write the postcards, he gave me this:

Dear Jessica:

I am at Sin Sheng English Village. I went to the restaurant, bank, shopping mall, and health center. It was fun!  I saw a ghost!  I am scared.  Your student, Jerry

We decided to dance to “Y.M.C.A.” and the ever-popular “We’re All in this Together” from High School Musical.  It meant a month of practicing at every free moment, literally every free moment (even passing time between classes) to finish the dance and teach the students how to appear like they were singing the song.  Of course, they have no idea what they are singing about because the English is too difficult…but that’s not the point.

The funniest part to me was their outfits!  My LET wanted to make sure that they stuck out on stage—and boy did they!  From matching sparkling vests, pants, and bracelets to crazy colored clown wigs.  It was really quite a sight to see the extents to which Taiwanese schools show their enthusiasm for the study of English.

Unfortunately, I don’t remember ever learning English dressed up as a clown in my boring American childhood.

Little did I know that there is so much beyond even the best bubble tea shop in Houston.  Oh, so much more.  Here in Taiwan, you almost literally can’t go an entire street block without walking past a tea shop.  In more crowded areas, usually even more than just one tea shop.

There’s so much you can customize.  First, there’s the tea base. You are no longer limited to just black and green tea.  No, there’s milk, chrysanthemum, oolong, jasmine, lemon, qing cha. And others that I don’t know how to read from the menu. Then, the flavors are different. The grapefruit green tea has real grapefruit in it; and, the passion fruit black tea has real passion fruit seeds in it.  There is no such thing as powder. My fruit tea has the real deal in it!  Third, your imagination can run wild with the chewy stuff you can add in!  Of course, there’s the regular boba (large chewy black tapioca balls), but then there’s the small tapioca balls too.  Not impressed? What about adding coconut jelly, grass jelly, oatmeal, barley, ai-yu jelly, crazy flower-like crunchy agar pieces (I have no idea what these are called), pudding, coffee jelly, or, my personal favorite, aloe vera?  Yeah, I bet you never thought of that before, huh?

Okay, so now you’ve ordered and decided the exact flavor that you want.  But, I’m not done yet.  Just like at Burger King, where you can “have it your way,” you can have bubble tea your way too!  What do I mean by that?  You can customize the sugar level from none, 1/3, 1/2, 3/4, or full.   And temperature.  Do you want it hot, warm, or cold?  If you opt for the cold version, you can tell them how much ice, too: more, less, none.

All within a few seconds, you can be completely empowered to design your own personal drink, to fit your picky taste buds’ needs.  Love it.